Love IS Patient or Love OUGHT TO be Patient?

The theme of this month is “Love is patient”. But does it really mean “love is patient” or does it mean “love ought to be patient”? We think the meaning of this sentence refers to the second one, as the value judgement involved in these two statements are slightly different. The first one is a value judgement based on a universal and ideal perception of love, and this statement is actually denying the fact that “Love can be impatient” IN-DIRECTLY. However, the second one expresses a more precise meaning of what Love SHOULD BE, it is a more normative and powerful statement and accepts the conception of an “impatient” love. Therefore, our club is going to elaborate on why love ought to be patient.

First question, what is love? A simple definition: The “love” we are referring to is an attractive force, a force that brings each other together, and this love is altruistic (meaning, to bring advantages to others) What about patience? Patience is the virtue that controls your temper, as told by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle. Yes, patience is indeed a virtue and is a demonstration of moral excellence. It is never easy for an ordinary person to prove that his or her love shown to others is patient enough, as patience itself is already a relative concept. “Patient”, this adjective is of course very subjective since the meaning is interpreted differently from one person to another person. That’s the reason why we say “of all things the measure is MAN”. So, we can only say that love is regarded as patient love when most of us hold it to be so.

Another logical error needs to be clarified. Love can be regarded as patient but not all love in line with the aforementioned definition is necessary to be generally patient. Let’s look at the situation in this way – “Mother is a woman but not all women are mothers”. That’s why we are saying that love ought to be patient as impatient love is not always deemed to be “good” love. Notwithstanding the truth that we probably understand the authentic love behind the nagging from our teachers or parents, that particular “love” is not always believed as a “good” love. Do you get the specific meaning behind it? That is, even with the initial virtuous motivation to show love to others, the unsuitable method applied will simply ruin the efforts or the so-called “responsibility” we have recognized before.

Why are we spending our time talking about whether love is/ ought to be patient or not, and why impatient love is not regarded as a “good” love? This is because people are born with confusion and illusion. This month’s topic is “Love is Patient”, but are we going to propagate the belief that “love is patient” and tell everyone to believe in it without thinking about it? Absolutely no, we have to suspect, ponder it seriously and eventually give reasonable guidance for us to follow this motto.

And what we want to emphasise is, showing love patiently to others is doubtlessly good. However, when we are showing love impatiently to others, we should not go to two extremes: One is feeling remorseful or ashamed and another one is tricking ourselves into the belief that we are patient. This is because, as the aforesaid, patience is a virtue that demonstrates moral excellence and it is OK for us not to be patient when showing our love to others under certain circumstances, but we have to learn to show love patiently to others and it takes time and perseverance.

Board Game Club
28 September 2022